THE BACKWARD PASS

WORKING BACKWARD Series

Part 5 of 5

I guess if I was truly working backward I would have started here?

As you pass from the back to the top of your presentation, here are 2 main points I hope you walk away with:

1. In talking about IDEAL OUTCOMES, I hope it became clear that an IDEAL OUTCOME goes beyond, “Make a sale” or “Make my Point!” It extends to a connection between people. I’m not recommending we get all touchy-feely here, but even in the realm of legalities, high finance or surgery, we are still talking human beings.

Let me give you two true stories, by way of explanation: Several years ago I had surgery on my neck. Due to an accident and prolonged stress I needed a disc replaced. I did my due diligence. I did research on surgeons in my network, got some recommendations and had 3 in-person interviews with surgeons who all had roughly the same level of expertise at one of the best hospitals in Dallas. Ultimately, I chose the doctor who I LIKED the most… but more importantly, who seemed to like and respect me! He knew my name, applauded the fact that I brought a friend with me to the interview (a nurse who I thought would remember more and ask better questions) and who looked me squarely in the eye. I’m sure they were all competent, but the guy who treated my friend the nurse like a toad and the one who was in a hurry and never looked up from his clipboard (remember clipboards?) did not impress me. And yes, my surgery was a complete success. Thank you Dr. Barnett.

My second true story is about jury duty. It’s a good story, but a little detailed, so let’s just say, I knew (had a strong hunch) very quickly which attorney the jury was leaning towards and it had nothing to do with the details of his case. He made a better impression, a stronger connection, thus a more compelling argument, mostly in the WAY he presented his information. I’m not an attorney, I don’t know every legal angle and detail, and neither was anyone else on that jury. But anyone could tell you whose lawyer was a jerk, wore gaudy jewelry, was tardy on more than one occasion and reeked of cologne. None of these things are against the law, but his client had a steep hill to climb just to get to a level playing field.

My second point for "take away":

2. It’s not always WHAT you say. I meet with clients all the time who will sweat blood over every word and phrase, trying to say just the right thing. They have a thesaurus phone app. I’ve worked with people who consider a presentation successful if they did not stumble, pause, or say “uh.” I’ve met people who think success is having a stacked Power Point presentation with enough verbiage to choke a horse. It starts with your definition of success and I hope you have the means for thinking outside the box.

In the end, and we are working backwards after all, it’s about the relationship to the person(s) you are addressing. You can’t actually force them to feel or do anything, but put their best interests first and see for yourself how your presentations succeed.

COULD YOU REPEAT THAT PLEASE?

Part 4 of 5

WORKING BACKWARD Series

“Huh? What did you say?”

We all do it. We’re standing right there, we hear the words that are coming out of someone’s mouth and yet we still didn’t “hear” them. It works both ways.

Just because YOUR volume is up, don’t think you can be heard!

You may wonder why I am addressing this in a series about “Working Backwards.” It is because when you examine outcome and have planned your closing, it is not only OK that you say it in your opening, I recommend it. Do not, I repeat, do not be afraid to say in your opening what you will repeat in your closing.

There are many reasons people do not hear, and the most common culprit is multi-tasking. When you are on a phone call, you cannot assume the person on the other end is giving you their complete attention. If you can’t see what the person is doing, they may be checking emails on a computer, looking at pictures of their dog, cooking, cleaning their nails and who knows what else. Even when you are face to face, there is no real guarantee your words are being comprehended. One significant clue is in the eyes. Looking someone in the eye, having them look at you (not above your head or at the gorgeous girl walking by) but eye-to-eye increases your chances of being heard tremendously.

You’ve heard the expression, “Eyes are the window to the soul.”? There is great truth here. And it works both ways. You as the speaker have the opportunity to perceive your listener’s comprehension in his or her eyes- do they LOOK engaged? Do they seem to “See” what you are saying? If their eyes are not registering comprehension- chances are you are not being heard.

The listener has the same opportunity to gleans a great deal about the speaker’s engagement, or connection to his or her message.

Here’s an experiment to try next time you are watching any kind of televised commentator/anchor/pontificator. Go up to your television (or computer screen) and cover the bottom half of the speaker’s face so that only the eyes are visible. Is this person engaged? I don’t have to tell you how to know, believe me, you’ll know. If the eyes are dull and flat, chances are they are reading, which does not necessarily mean he or she does not believe what they say. However, these very subtle clues may affect your ability to believe the message. The same is true of you as the communicator! When you do not express interest or connection to subject and/or audience, your listener’s comprehension may be greatly affected on a subconscious level.

If and when this is the case, here are 3 little tricks to try in a one-on-one conversation:

§ Ask for an audio response. “Does that make sense to you?” “Am I being clear?” “May I clarify that; I know it can be confusing.” (Be sure you are sincere rather than accusatory: “Are you listening? Hello?? Anybody home?”)

§ Make a small gesture to bring the listener back. If it looks like someone has drifted, use a larger or stronger gesture, closer to your chest or head. Give them something that catches their eye. In some cases a light touch on the arm may be appropriate, although I would suggest caution in cases of a new relationship between opposite sexes.

§ Vary delivery slightly- either in wording or delivery style. Change inflection or maybe volume. (There is nothing worse than asking someone to repeat something and have them use the exact same tone and volume. I have a pet peeve about being clear in asking someone to repeat something because I didn’t hear them the first time, only for them to use the exact same tone and volume! Hello! If that was working I would have heard you the first time!)

And do not, I repeat, do not be afraid to repeat yourself! Most people don’t hear (or fully comprehend) you the first time around. This is an opportunity not an imposition!

START WITH THE CLOSING

Series Part 3 of 5 of "WORKING BACKWARD"

In any kind of presentation I recommend that you KNOW YOUR OPENING; KNOW YOUR CLOSING. It relieves last minute anxiety, boosts confidence and allows you to be more present, in the moment and thus able to make a last minute change if the situation arises. (But that’s another blog.)

We’re working backwards, remember? So let’s look at the finish. Many know how to begin the dialogue, but they don’t end strong. The conversation fizzles out, without a true conclusion that answers the question, “What’s next?”

Have you ever seen a movie that was just so-so, but the ending was so fantastic that you found yourself loving it, even recommending the film to your friends? That’s the power of a good closing.

While the opening is crucial- this is where you get their attention, pull them in and set up what is to come ... a good opening can get your foot into a seemingly closed door! But your closing is equally important- it’s the ending note, often leaving your lasting impression. End with a dud, and it is all the harder to prove yourself again. I’ve heard comments to the effect, “I wasn’t convinced he was our guy, but he sure proved it in the end.” But I’ve rarely heard, “I love how that guy starts, and it’s OK that he leaves me cold.”

In golf, the follow through of your swing is so important. As a young girl learning to play golf, I did not understand how anything I did after making contact with the ball could matter. Who cared where my feet wound up or where I was looking? I wanted to see how far that ball went! But when I learned to complete my swing, keep my head down, and worry about the ball later, I found I had someplace to look, and not just in the woods. Giving attention to my follow through allowed me to make full contact with the ball, scoop under it and lift it into the air.

The more specifically you can answer that question, “What’s my ideal outcome?” the clearer you can make your closing, which provides the foundation for a strong opening.

The Opening and Closing can absolutely have the same focus- in fact, I recommend it and I strongly urge you to repeat yourself. Let me say that again, do not be afraid to repeat yourself. In fact that Opening can often be a statement of your Intention. “I hope by the time I am finished you will believe as strongly as I do that no one cares as much about your success in presentations as much as I do.”

Repeat after me: “Next week, we’ll look at the power of repeating. And no one cares more about your success than I do!”