What's So Perfect About Being Perfect?

Below is an actual response I received from a nervous client preparing for an important
presentation, after my inquiry of “Let me know if you need anything”:

How about:
-A stand-in
-A sense of humor at this point
-The “rah-rah” speech
-A scotch… straight up… no, make it a DOUBLE!

I feel like the salmon swimming upstream.

I told her she didn’t need the sense of humor- hers was just fine.

The rah-rah speech started in my response to last night’s email and continued in her session
today. She does not get a stand-in, nor does she need one. And the scotch can wait for the cocktail party following her delivery of an insightful, charming
presentation.

The majority of her nerves are based on fears of the past, flavored by an overwhelming desire
to perfect the wording of her speech, which she felt would help her be perfect if only she could
memorize it. Right? Wrong. Will she be perfect? Absolutely not. How do I know?

When it comes to live presentations, “perfect” does not exist. It’s right up there with weddings.
When brides strive for that perfect wedding (or else the day is RUINED!) I am saddened
by the fact they have set themselves up for disappointment before the sun has risen on her
special day. Should one prepare? Have goals? Get organized? Rehearse? ABSOLUTELY!

But feeling we must be perfect or else we “suck” leaves very little room for “very
good,” “excellent” or even, “interesting.” And I will take a good, “that was really interesting”
over “that sucks” any day.

I recently redefined “perfect” for a client and it seemed to do the trick in alleviating many
of his fears. When we realized he was shooting for: “No mistakes, no slips, no pauses, no
stumbles, while being incredibly charming, eloquent and erudite, WHILE feeling no nerves or
sweaty palms,” I realized he had no chance to be pleased. His goal was unrealistic and creating
additional anxiety, actually interfering with his ability to rehearse.

We took a step back and redefined what it would take for him to be really pleased and feel
it was as perfect as it was going to get. With guidance, he chose the following statement
to define perfection in terms of his presentation: “When I manage my fears without the
audience noticing… when I allow myself to deviate from the script, ad-lib in the moment as is
necessary… when I hit my 3 most important points…when I smile, look my colleagues in the
eye, and answer their questions… my presentation a complete success!”

And he did. And it was.

Moral of story- It is often the pressures we put on ourselves that create the very nerves we are
striving to avoid.

It's Not What You Say, It's How You Tell It

I've been traveling through the land of my birth, Louisiana, where I grew up knowing how to peel and eat crawfish practically before I was potty trained. I learned how to tell the difference between female and male crabs by the pattern on their shells and I can make a gumbo that will bring you back for more. But what I got from my time in this glorious state that has served me above all else is the power and magic of telling a good story. I learned from the best! Boring is not a word used around these parts. These people know how to make a simple trip to the grocery store sound like an event not to be missed and part of that talent comes from their power of observation without judgment. This does not mean they do not have an opinion, it's just that the opinion usually has to do with how funny and juicy or spicy a story something might make.

I have not seen Jackie and Steve in almost 20 years although during my time studying theater and communications at UNO I often found myself adopted into the warmth of this young couple's home, where we did what New Orleanians do- eat and tell stories. Jackie is one of the best. I sat enthralled, reminded of her ability to manipulate the nuances of the French Cajun, Creole, Southern, and New Orleans Ninth ward dialects. There is a little town outside of Lafayette, called New Iberia, and just past New Iberia is a smaller town called Abbeville and that is where Jackie is from. She was a marvel to behold and as I listened to her tales of Katrina, alternating between tears and laughter, I realized her talents are innate, but developed through observation and imitation. Both only possible when we pay attention.

You cannot absorb the flavors (literally and figuratively) of these gorgeous surroundings when you are deafened by headphones and cell phones. In New York I am more surprised by the sight of young people withOUT some kind of electronic device hooked to their heads, but I am happy to report the infrequency of my sightings of these extraneous electronics in New Orleans. There is so much to see and hear- just the snippets of conversation are worth the taxes added to my hotel bill. Listening to the natural sounds is all the entertainment and stimulation anyone needs and the benefits are ten-fold.

After visiting with my friends, family and more family, I have renewed hope for the young people who seem to be growing up like I did- surrounded by fascinating people who's worth is not tied to finances, but to spirit and passion and connection to those around them. Humor, personality and charm are on constant display by characters fitting of an engrossing novel. Conversation and communication is readily available for anyone with the desire to learn and I will leave here Sunday with my Masters in Story Telling.
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GRETA MULLER