Ah, the joys of travel.

SO! What did I decide? When last we talked, I was faced with de-training in Baltimore,
getting a rental car and driving to Annapolis or risk staying on the train to DC where a
rental car awaited my arrival, which corresponded with my need to return to DC and my
return ticket to NYC.

So just were did I get off? Baltimore International Airport. Amtrak makes 2 stops
in Baltimore- the second stop is the airport. And this is where being an Avis Wizard
member comes in handy. I was able to make a new reservation on my Blackberry and
have it waiting for me. I just missed the shuttle to the terminal, but I paid a taxi drive
to take me there. I told her I was in a bit of a hurry and that I needed to get to the car
rental counters safely, but quickly. She chatted amiably and told me how close I was to
Annapolis and that it was a straight shot, etc. As we approached, I said (in exactly these
words) “If it makes any difference, I’m Avis.”

“Oh, I’m Bea, honey.”

I love that. It did make a difference. She wasn’t thinking about my complete and utter
focus on getting to the Avis counter, but on the connection to another human being. I
tipped big and told her it was nice to meet her.

I flashed a big smile to the Avis employee, mentioned that I literally made the reservation
minutes ago, but I was on the stranded train and needed to quickly get on my way. I did
not scream, bully or push- but smiling, I told her that anything she could do to get me to
my car would be appreciated. This woman who has probably seen and heard it all, typed
like the wind, offered to cancel my first reservation and handed me the keys. Love her!

By 2:45 I was driving to Annapolis- yes, it is a straight shot and as luck would have it,
my hotel (and the location of my work) was right off of the highway, on this side of town.

I had one hour to pick up a few props, check in, get dressed and make it to the conference
room. I decided to check in, and then, IF there were time, and IF there were a nearby
store, I would run quickly to buy my items.

A handsome young man stood waiting behind the counter. I love young people. I really
do. I was young once myself. But I have often found that young people in the service
industry don’t always understand the challenges of the business traveler, because they
haven’t walked in the shoes. This young man was still wearing flip flops.

I believe in courtesy and hold the belief that you get more bees with honey. I smiled,
placed my credit card and Gold member card on the desk and gave my name.

“Have you stayed with “us” (this brand”) before? he asked.
“Yes, I’m a gold member.”
“Oh, that’s great. Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, yes I do and I really need to check in quickly.”
“Oh, that’s OK, you have plenty of time.”

Really? I have plenty of time? I was so perplexed by that I could barely react. Again,
smiling, I said, not really, that I was late because I needed to get to the meeting in the
Harbor Room.

“Oh, that’s OK; they’ll be there till 6:00. You have lots of time.”

I decided I needed to take some of my own advice, adjust for my “audience” and speak
politely but a little more firmly, in order for my tone and actions to match my intention.

“No, I really don’t. I am the speaker who is to begin at 4:00. They’re waiting for me.”

“No, they’re not. It’s barely after 3:00, you have lots of time.”

I thought that if this young man told me one more time that I had lots of time, I might
have to scream.

“Actually, I don’t. I need to change clothes, freshen up and if possible, run to the store
for a few things. Is there a drug store nearby?”

“Oh, sure, it’s right there.” He pointed. I looked. I saw trees.

“Right where?”

“There. Right outside the parking lot.”

“All I see are trees.”

“You can’t miss it.”

Famous last words. I intend to never use that expression, because if someone says, I
can’t miss it, I guarantee you, I can. I did. I never did find the drug store, but I did drive
several blocks, locate what I needed and drive back to the hotel.

I ran back in, grabbed my waiting keys and went to my room where I changed clothes,
freshened lipstick, hair, etc., smiled at myself in the mirror- something I strongly
recommend- breathed deeply, and walked back to the lobby and found my conference
room. I silently slipped into the back of the room, where the Vice President of this group
was speaking. He quickly acknowledged my presence and asked if I didn’t mind waiting,
just a half hour or so as they were running a little behind.

I smiled. No, I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind at all.

-Greta

Ah, the joys of travel.

I am by no means an airline “million miler” (not to be confused with the mile high club) but I have seen my share of Admirals Clubs, been upgraded to first class and shown preference in various hotels all because of the sheer volume of points or miles. I had no idea the kinds of perks granted to a traveler simply because they flash a Loyal Member Gold card. I love my perks and count my blessings. But even that, can not eliminate the frustration of being on an Amtrak Acela express that breaks down outside of Baltimore when your actual destination is DC. This happened yesterday afternoon shortly after 12:00 noon when I had a presentation to do in Annapolis at 4:00 PM. The original plan was to go all the way to DC, where I would pick up my rental car, drive the 40 minutes or so to Annapolis, then drive back to DC the following day (today) for a meeting this evening.

I was traveling in Business Class, the QUIET car. It did not remain quiet for long. It seemed everyone had someplace very important to be and they needed everyone else on the car to know about it. Cell phones were flying, voices rising. The poor conductor had to make a pass through and barely escaped with his life. What did these people think he could do? Get out the jumper cables?

I marveled at the bus that soon pulled up along side us. Men in shiny orange jumpsuits jumped out with big tool belts who quickly set about getting the train in motion. An hour later (with no air conditioning) I realized I really might not make it. I had to quickly decide whether to risk going into DC, hit afternoon traffic and make my virgin drive to Annapolis, or run an equal risk of getting off in Baltimore, finding a rental car and driving 20 (?) minutes to Annapolis. Either plan had its risks, but Baltimore is at least in the same state and judging by my Blackberry map, closer. As we approached an hour and a half, I emailed my clients with a report, but urged them not to give up yet. Eventually we started moving… very slowly. Apparently we did not have full power, Captain Kirk and I hoped we would soon pick up warp speed. It was now 2:15.

My main concern was my presentation: my theme for this new client was “Making a Positive First Impression” You do not get a second chance to make that first impression, you know! I am to spend the next 4 months with this team of 14 designers and consultants who literally go around the world making presentations and many of them have done it for years. I have been hired to add a fresh respective. I could imagine the first impression I would be making- barging through the door, huffing and puffing, completely flummoxed and unkempt, with seconds to spare. I hate being late. I also hate wrinkles. So of course, my suit was in my luggage. I had a couple of props to buy because I was going to have plenty of time. I was dressed in jeans- nice jeans, but jeans none the less, and a fabulous Carrie Bradshaw sweater with feathers. Ooh, great first impression.

Stay tuned tomorrow for what happened next.

Calling All Calls

One of the subjects approached in class today was how one goes about finding one's "calling" when signs seem to point in all kinds of directions, then further complicated by financial concerns, education, natural talents, opportunities (or lack of) ... the list goes on. We were divided into pairs in order to interview each other on this subject, hopefully to stimulate creativity in the search. I was placed with an older gentleman (70, I found out) from Holland, whose English speaking skills were minimal. "Oh no," I thought, "how are we going to interview each other when we can't even understand what the other is saying?" I found the little English he spoke to be difficult to understand, although he certainly did so with gusto!

I was moved by how earnestly he tried to communicate. He gesticulated and along with dramatic facial expressions he struggled to use the few words he knew effectively. It turns out he was retired but had been some kind of transporter of "potatoes and onions" in his native Holland. He was very proud of the fact that this produce came to and from all parts of Europe and he was responsible for making sure everything got to where it was supposed to be. He felt he was being of service to his country and fellow citizens and his eyes shone when he pantomimed the large vessels and volume of business that was within the realm of his duties.

I realized that we actually had much in common. He looked beyond the "potatoes and onions" to embrace the duty and service he provided. I, too, look beyond the particular speech or presentation I address with a client and think of my job as being of service to another human being. My original intention was to be a teacher and took a different path. Becoming a coach and trainer actually returns me to my "true calling," the one I felt as a child- that of teacher and guide, in a very specific area of expertise.

Because of our verbal limitations, we did not focus so much on helping the other find his calling, but we found our common ground. This dear gentle man, Peter, also had the calling to be of service and did so through his area of expertise- the transportation of his potatoes and onions. And I know there are so many Hollanders who are so glad he did.

-Greta

London, England

9/29/10

Philosophy and Coaching

The main prompt for my trip to London was the chance to take Business and Coaching classes through the School of Practical Science which is the sister school (if not 'Mother") of the School of Practical Philosophy on E 79th where I have been studying practically since the day I moved to New York. I've told several people, when asked why I moved to New York 5 years ago, if for no other reason it was to find the school, for it has affected my life in profound ways. It's quite simple, we study Philosophy and learn to apply wisdom to our lives consciously. Doing anything consciously, is truly more effective than anything you could do halfway or unconsciously. And I am often amazed by the realization of habits and simple things I've done quite unconsciously that are both effective AND not, and now feel more empowered to choose to do the things that work!

I apply that basic principle to my presentation coaching. Simply being aware of intentions and goals, while making the effort to realize these goals is much more effective than memorization, hoping to feel motivated by the message or simply trying to do one's best, when one may not even realize what that "best" is.

In this coaching course, which has barely begun, I've learned a new system that sharpens my intention with clients and perhaps intensifies their success and realization and utilization of their skills. In business, we are studying ethics, integrity and trust. In the very first class we looked at how being a good client to our suppliers strengthens the chain and improves my client's welfare. I'm all for that. And yes, I've tried in the past to be a good "client" to others, but having that now a firm intention strengthens my commitment and in due course, increases my ability to be effective for you!

I hope this finds you enjoying a cool. slightly less humid day. These sudden London showers are creating quite the hairdo on my naturally curly head!

-Greta

THE SMILE SAYS IT ALL

Greetings from damp and chilly London. No matter where I go, there is one communication tool that is universally effective. It opens doors, crosses language boundaries... even gets you a really large piece of fish. I landed at London Heathrow early this morning to find that my brand new, very expensive Blackberry Bold, with the international capabilities, was not working. I am not one of those people who live glued to their cell phones. I do not have carpal tunnel in my thumb joints from constant texting and most of my emails wait until I sit in front of a lap top. But on this trip, alone, relying on the kindness of friends for accommodations and transportation, let me tell you how important that cell phone connection was to me. I was moved by my plane seat mate's kindness, loaning me her cell phone, and then making helpful suggestions that really provided no help, other than letting me know she cared enough to try.

I spent an hour in an unbelievably long customs line, often making eye contact with other weary travelers who shared nothing more with me that a sense of sleepy acceptance. When eyes of different colors and shapes met mine, there was a twinkle, a nod, a raised eye brow, signaling our bond. In any language, that look said, "Yep, it's a long line , but whaddaya gonna do?" These moments of comfort and camaraderie made the wait a little shorter. And the line shuffled along.
I know it's England. We all speak English... of sorts. Signs make sense- kind of. The money is similar... I could be in stranger surroundings, but it IS different. The comfort zone is a long way off. A trip to the grocery is like stepping into Alice's Wonderland. Products and packaging are different. Labels don't make sense. I was not asked, "Paper or plastic?" I heard, "You are paying the bagging fee?" No, I had a bag with me. I was unable to charge my 15 pound purchase- it was under their 20 pound minimum. In New York, I've seen kids put a pack of gum on their debit card. I smiled, told the clerk (or is it clark?) I was visiting and didn't understand. She smiled with sympathy, patiently explained their policy despite the lengthening line behind me and and added a "Luv" at the end, as in "...sorry, luv." I happily handed her a 20 pound note while she again, apologized.

My next stop was the local Fish and Chips shop. The menu behind the counter might as well have been in another language for all the sense it made. I smiled and told the young man I was visiting and didn't quite know what I wanted or what the portions were like. Two other patrons made suggestions. I seemed to move ahead in the line and received my order before the two who had been standing there before I arrived. A lovely older gentleman asked me where I was from and asked if I had any American quarters. I didn't. He explained he had just returned from a 3 week trip to the States, primarily Florida and had managed to collect 38 of the 50 state quarters, but no Floridas! I gave him my card, asked him to email me his address and that I would send him a Florida quarter. His smile was worth all the fish and chips in London. My order came in the clever paper cone and as I left, several patrons were smiling and nodding.
This is just my first day in London, but consistently, with very few exceptions, smiles broke through every language barrier, mood and situation. It opened doors, provided travel directions, a tube pass, use of a cell phone, a place in line and even extra chips! And they were delicious.

Thanks mate.

-Greta Muller

Some Have Greatness Thrust Upon Them

Dear Readers,

I know that there are many of us who are loathe to admit a membership into a certain decade of age. But with that mantel comes the responsibility of passing on the memories of great and pivotal moments of our past. If you were (like this writer) old enough to remember the tragic and shattering events of November 22, 1963 I know you have burned into your memory the exact place you were when John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. And with that harsh and sad memento must also come the vision of his suspected killer, Lee Harvey Oswald being gunned down by Jack Ruby two days later in the parking garage of the Dallas jail. That televsion broadcast and the following photograph in newspapers the next day is part of the lexicon that makes America's large presence in the twentieth century and all of history. When you see the photograph you can't look away. Oswald is recoiled in pain, Ruby's hand is holding a gun and firing at point blank range into his victim's stomach. And the detective handcuffed to Oswald (in a white Stetson and light gray suit) has a look of instant surprise and alarm etched on his face. Do you know that man's name?

It's J.R. Leavelle.

Detective Leavelle turned 90 two weeks ago and that is news partly because JR has been a good friend of mine for the past 30 years. It's also news because Mr. Leavelle has carried the mantel of history extremely well since that first day he was thrust into world history in November of 1963. He is a natural public speaker and interviewee. The retired Dallas homicide detective has been interviewed by every major newspaper, magazine, and television network in the world. Not a week has gone by in the past 47 years that some media entity does not contact him for a comment or opinion. He was Oliver Stone's on-set consultant for "JFK" and has been on countless morning shows and documentaries, and not once has Mr. Leavelle stumbled or been at a loss for words. When addressing a very large audience commemorating the 65th anniversary of Pearl Harbor (Yet another major part of history of which he is a veteran) JR spoke for nearly ninety minutes without a cue card or prompter. He was only supposed to speak for thirty but once he started speaking it was quite clear he had a rapt audience. History can give us heroes.

So as Detective Leavelle celebrates his 90th year it has occurred to me that even at the most tragic of times some good has been revealed. It gave us J.R. Leavelle, and we can't look away.

What's So Perfect About Being Perfect?

Below is an actual response I received from a nervous client preparing for an important
presentation, after my inquiry of “Let me know if you need anything”:

How about:
-A stand-in
-A sense of humor at this point
-The “rah-rah” speech
-A scotch… straight up… no, make it a DOUBLE!

I feel like the salmon swimming upstream.

I told her she didn’t need the sense of humor- hers was just fine.

The rah-rah speech started in my response to last night’s email and continued in her session
today. She does not get a stand-in, nor does she need one. And the scotch can wait for the cocktail party following her delivery of an insightful, charming
presentation.

The majority of her nerves are based on fears of the past, flavored by an overwhelming desire
to perfect the wording of her speech, which she felt would help her be perfect if only she could
memorize it. Right? Wrong. Will she be perfect? Absolutely not. How do I know?

When it comes to live presentations, “perfect” does not exist. It’s right up there with weddings.
When brides strive for that perfect wedding (or else the day is RUINED!) I am saddened
by the fact they have set themselves up for disappointment before the sun has risen on her
special day. Should one prepare? Have goals? Get organized? Rehearse? ABSOLUTELY!

But feeling we must be perfect or else we “suck” leaves very little room for “very
good,” “excellent” or even, “interesting.” And I will take a good, “that was really interesting”
over “that sucks” any day.

I recently redefined “perfect” for a client and it seemed to do the trick in alleviating many
of his fears. When we realized he was shooting for: “No mistakes, no slips, no pauses, no
stumbles, while being incredibly charming, eloquent and erudite, WHILE feeling no nerves or
sweaty palms,” I realized he had no chance to be pleased. His goal was unrealistic and creating
additional anxiety, actually interfering with his ability to rehearse.

We took a step back and redefined what it would take for him to be really pleased and feel
it was as perfect as it was going to get. With guidance, he chose the following statement
to define perfection in terms of his presentation: “When I manage my fears without the
audience noticing… when I allow myself to deviate from the script, ad-lib in the moment as is
necessary… when I hit my 3 most important points…when I smile, look my colleagues in the
eye, and answer their questions… my presentation a complete success!”

And he did. And it was.

Moral of story- It is often the pressures we put on ourselves that create the very nerves we are
striving to avoid.

It's Not What You Say, It's How You Tell It

I've been traveling through the land of my birth, Louisiana, where I grew up knowing how to peel and eat crawfish practically before I was potty trained. I learned how to tell the difference between female and male crabs by the pattern on their shells and I can make a gumbo that will bring you back for more. But what I got from my time in this glorious state that has served me above all else is the power and magic of telling a good story. I learned from the best! Boring is not a word used around these parts. These people know how to make a simple trip to the grocery store sound like an event not to be missed and part of that talent comes from their power of observation without judgment. This does not mean they do not have an opinion, it's just that the opinion usually has to do with how funny and juicy or spicy a story something might make.

I have not seen Jackie and Steve in almost 20 years although during my time studying theater and communications at UNO I often found myself adopted into the warmth of this young couple's home, where we did what New Orleanians do- eat and tell stories. Jackie is one of the best. I sat enthralled, reminded of her ability to manipulate the nuances of the French Cajun, Creole, Southern, and New Orleans Ninth ward dialects. There is a little town outside of Lafayette, called New Iberia, and just past New Iberia is a smaller town called Abbeville and that is where Jackie is from. She was a marvel to behold and as I listened to her tales of Katrina, alternating between tears and laughter, I realized her talents are innate, but developed through observation and imitation. Both only possible when we pay attention.

You cannot absorb the flavors (literally and figuratively) of these gorgeous surroundings when you are deafened by headphones and cell phones. In New York I am more surprised by the sight of young people withOUT some kind of electronic device hooked to their heads, but I am happy to report the infrequency of my sightings of these extraneous electronics in New Orleans. There is so much to see and hear- just the snippets of conversation are worth the taxes added to my hotel bill. Listening to the natural sounds is all the entertainment and stimulation anyone needs and the benefits are ten-fold.

After visiting with my friends, family and more family, I have renewed hope for the young people who seem to be growing up like I did- surrounded by fascinating people who's worth is not tied to finances, but to spirit and passion and connection to those around them. Humor, personality and charm are on constant display by characters fitting of an engrossing novel. Conversation and communication is readily available for anyone with the desire to learn and I will leave here Sunday with my Masters in Story Telling.
--
GRETA MULLER

You Practice What You Teach.

It still amazes me how much of what I teach and preach comes back to me when it is my turn to stand in front of a group and make a presentation. 

Yesterday, July 27, 2010 at 9:00 AM, I found myself the center of attention for ten amazing women, all interested in what I had to say about “Opening Your Presence.”  No pressure there, right?  I’ve written the book, or more accurately, I AM writing it; I know this material inside and out and in my twelve-year coaching career, I have done no less that 50 workshops on a variety of topics.

Me, nervous?  Yes.   

Participating in yesterday’s group were three attorneys of various specialties and experience levels, an international sales rep for an exclusive hotel chain, a television producer, a life coach, two wardrobe stylists, an actress, a green consultant… and oh yes, one colleague, auditing the workshop to help me improve my level of service. 

The majority of my workshops have either been commissioned by an individual company with a specific issue to address or tailored to a field, for example, young law associates or talent for a television station.  This professional diversity presented some unique challenges for custom-tuning a two-hour workshop!  

To be or not to be nervous is NOT the question.  In this case, 'twas nobler to deal with it properly, allowing that energy to work for me.  By preparing adequately, then committing to being present in the moment allows me to accept that the knowledge is there and will be presented when that moment is right.  Having the proper focus with purpose gave the nervous energy somewhere to go, rather than distract from my mission.  

My  preparation was slightly differently, as was the focus, but I have enough experience to realize that my nervousness was due to the slight shift in familiarity.  I remember the first time I coached the broadcast team for the Dallas Mavericks.  There I was at a professional basketball game, on the floor, amidst the broadcasters!  Exciting doesn’t begin to describe it.  The noise was deafening, not to mention distracting and I realized I was so far out of my comfort zone, it was a distant memory.  But the skills for live radio broadcasting were the same.  Focusing, staying alert and listening told me everything I needed to know. By the time the season was over, I could high five with the best of them.   

My mission provided the calm.  I often invite my clients to step out of their comfort zones and so I took one mother-may-I, giant step forward and did what I always do. I gave it my all.  As the two hours passed, we shared experiences and stories proving once again, that in diversity there is common ground.  The situations may vary, but it all comes down to one solution: embrace our strengths with focus and skilled guidance to fully open our presence.  

I look forward to the individual sessions I will have with each workshop participant so that we can formulate a distinct plan, zeroing in on the challenges generated within each profession.  And I as always, will walk away feeling I have learned the most! 

-Greta Muller 

Breathe Easy It's Only Stage Fright

You know the feeling. You're backstage or in your seat, about to be introduced, or introduce yourself. You have carefully reviewed your notes and rehearsed your presentation in front of your bathroom mirror, in the hotel room, or in front of your dog/cat. You're prepared. You're slicker than the Gulf of Mexico. Bring 'em on, I'm ready, you say to yourself. And then . . . . it hits.

The feeling rushes over you like a tsunami of pure fear. Your hearts races, your pulse pounds, palms sweat. Suddenly you have an odd feeling of not being in your body. The carefully coiffed hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Your mind searches for your first words, your first slide, your first . . . . my first . . . what!? OMG! I have forgotten the whole thing? That can't be! Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Something in your consciousness hears your name being announced! Images of the second grade assembly on "Saving Our Woodland Friends" where you forgot your entire memorized speech as the Owl in front of chortling and amused parents and teachers rushes through your mind like the Acela train you took to get here.

The most primitive part of your highly evolved brain is running the show now. This is bad. Oh this is bad!

But wait!

Rewind a bit to when that first wall of total fear hit you. Did you let it take total control of your entire being? Or, did you follow the few simple steps covered here by the good people at C3?

Here they are. And don't worry, we'll write reminders on your palms if we have to.

1.) When Stage Fright comes, just let it in the door like an old friend you've been expecting. Feel the symptoms, accept them. Because they will actually help you give a better presentation. But first . . .

2.) Take full, complete Cleansing Breaths. What do we mean by Cleansing Breaths?
That kind of breathing you do in your yoga class on Saturdays before you go out to brunch and mess up a week of dieting.

3.) Here's the deal: CB's are nature's way of pumping relaxing and energizing endorphins into your bloodstream at the perfect time. And you can take CB's whenever and wherever you want. (More on this in a later post)

4.) Here's the four step process:

1.) Breathe in through your nose. A nice full breath.
Feel it in your belly.
2.) Hold your breathe in for a slow count of five.
3.) Release your breath slowly through (and this is important)
pursed lips.
4.) Repeat.

And that's it! You will instantly feel your body start to calm and your mind will come back into the room. You can't have debilitating stage fright when you are breathing deeply. The two can't exist in the same body at the same time.

There, now you can give the great presentation that you've prepared and knock your audience's cashmere socks off.

More later on all of this in a later post. But for now we wish you all good Cleansing Breaths everyone. Good Presence to all! And to all . . . no Stage Fright!

There's still time to register for the July 27 Workshop!

Register Here!

Welcome to Tips and Talk from the Media Coaches at C3!

Hey everyone. Hope this blog finds each and every one of you in fine presence and that all of your presentations and media projects are going swimmingly. Pardon my use of an aquatic adverb but it is July and I would imagine that all of you wish that you were spending more time up to your necks in cool water. However, if you find the opposite is true and that you are in over your head in the hot water that is business these days we offer this humble blog in the hope that you can find its tips and gentle proddings just the thing to make your speechifying and media presence impactful and communicative.

So welcome! Please come back often. Not only will you find great advice and delightful anecdotes we also will feature great recipes from Greta's kitchen (a better Cajun cook has never been born).

Come back tomorrow to read about banishing stage fright forever!