WHERE TO START

When I tell people I live in New York City, reactions differ greatly. But, often, I get the pity face and hear something like, "What do you think of the people? New Yorkers are tough, aren't they?" I find New York to be filled with loving, helpful people. Yes, loving. And giving… it’s just that New Yorkers show it a different way. I’ve yet to ask for directions when 5 people didn’t argue over helping me find my destination. A homeless man once helped me carry some groceries and would take nothing for his time. He just wanted to talk.

I was down in the Wall Street area waiting for an appointment and I asked a policeman if he could recommend somewhere I could kill an hour. He’s giving me directions to his favorite coffee shop and a woman walks up and says that she couldn’t help overhearing and that she doesn’t like that place and I should go… The policeman interrupts, “Listen, lady, was she asking you? Go get a uniform and maybe someone will ask you what you think.” She laughed, he laughed- and it was heaven. I spent almost the entire hour yakking with these two characters and time flew.

Whether it’s New York or Des Moines, often people wait for the other person to make the first move. Being pro-active actually sets the tone and lays the foundation for what is to come. I compare this to how you begin a presentation. You can do so hesitantly, asking for “permission” to speak, or you can seize the opportunity, know your opening and dive right in, therefore setting the tone. This is applicable to any size meeting or presentation.

I strongly recommend setting an intention based on emotional response. How you want someone to feel gives you the basis for any opening.

I had just stepped off a crowded subway at Times Square heading to the exit and caught sight of a woman staring out of the window of the subway car. I had rarely seen such a despondent face, so sad. We met eyes and I smiled and offered a little wave as the train started forward. She perked up and a huge smile lit her face and she waved until she was out of sight. I love this city- a place where so little can mean so much.

Go on. Jump right in and start something good.